Early this morning one of the techs here potentially saved my life. This life save had nothing to do with treatment or cancer though. This life save had to do with something I have been even more afraid of.... My hospital room. The tech happened to notice the plug attached to my bed was burning through itself. So they had to replace my bed so I wouldn't catch fire in the middle of my restless sleep here.
I am definitely taking a lot more medication here. They actually have me on anti-seize medicine because of the chances of seizing during one of the chemo therapies. Apparently the strength is much more powerful for transplant preparation. The transplant is scheduled for Wednesday. It's hard to believe it's only Saturday. Hours are drawing on like days.
- we all assume the worst the best we can and for a round or two they'd gladly drag you down
I can tell now that the chemo therapy is only beginning to set in. I have been feeling slightly different over the past day or so but this morning I am beginning to feel the effects. It also didn't help for a nurse and a doctor to come in my room this morning and remind me that I am going to get much worse before I get better. I know I'm sounding down and dark right now but that is how I'm feeling. I know there will be better times to come soon. This writing therapy helps though, in some small way, even when my tears burn my eyes shut. I awoke this morning with the bad metallic taste in my mouth that only a person who has taken chemo in the past knows. My stomach just doesn't feel right and the song in my head keeps repeating "the smell of hospitals in winter, and the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters and no pearls". However, I can't help but think of my pearl coming to visit later today, her name is Saint Tracy and she is my strength and warm light in this drab place of misery and discomfort.
I am definitely taking a lot more medication here. They actually have me on anti-seize medicine because of the chances of seizing during one of the chemo therapies. Apparently the strength is much more powerful for transplant preparation. The transplant is scheduled for Wednesday. It's hard to believe it's only Saturday. Hours are drawing on like days.
- we all assume the worst the best we can and for a round or two they'd gladly drag you down
I can tell now that the chemo therapy is only beginning to set in. I have been feeling slightly different over the past day or so but this morning I am beginning to feel the effects. It also didn't help for a nurse and a doctor to come in my room this morning and remind me that I am going to get much worse before I get better. I know I'm sounding down and dark right now but that is how I'm feeling. I know there will be better times to come soon. This writing therapy helps though, in some small way, even when my tears burn my eyes shut. I awoke this morning with the bad metallic taste in my mouth that only a person who has taken chemo in the past knows. My stomach just doesn't feel right and the song in my head keeps repeating "the smell of hospitals in winter, and the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters and no pearls". However, I can't help but think of my pearl coming to visit later today, her name is Saint Tracy and she is my strength and warm light in this drab place of misery and discomfort.
In keeping w/ tradition, I'm posting the 1st comment... :oB
ReplyDeleteI have to say that was really sweet-- referring to your Tracy as a pearl. Ahhhhh...
Here's a poem I keep posted, the author is unknown.
ReplyDelete"What Cancer Cannot Do"
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI've let a lot of time go by without asking, but since we're looking at a month passing by ... I know I speak for all of us when I ask, "Can we PLEASE have another sexy leg shot?"
ReplyDeleteSeriously, for the children.